When someone asks you how you are, do you feel stumped? If yes, you're not alone. Many neurodivergent people experience difficulty identifying their emotions. As a fellow neurodivergent individual, I know firsthand how challenging identifying emotions can be! That's why I want to share a helpful tool that I've used to improve my own emotional awareness: the Feelings Wheel. For neurodivergent people, visual aids and supports can be particularly beneficial, which is why I'll be introducing several different visual aids to help with emotional identification.

The Feelings Wheel is a widely used visual aid that organizes emotions based on the six core emotions (anger, fear, sadness, calm, strong, and happiness). Each of these emotions is then divided into more specific sub-emotions. By simply identifying your feelings on the wheel, you can enhance your emotional awareness and develop a deeper understanding of your emotions.

The wheel is a visual and concrete way to increase your emotional awareness. Additionally, there are other useful visual aids such as the feeling list, feeling gauge, and emotional-valence matrix. In this post, we'll explore the Feelings Wheel, feeling list, and feeling gauge—how to use them, and why they are particularly beneficial for people with alexithymia.

Emotional Labeling

If you've ever struggled to put a name to your feelings, you're not alone. Emotional labeling is the ability to recognize and label your emotions as you experience them, and it's an important skill for managing and regulating your emotions. For people with alexithymia, a condition characterized by difficulty identifying and expressing emotions, emotional labeling can be particularly challenging. However, with practice and support from professionals, it is possible to improve emotional labeling skills and better understand and work with your emotions.

Visual Aids For Emotional Identification

Before diving into the specifics of how to use these tools, let's first talk about why and how these tools and other visual aids are helpful.

Visual aids help people to process and communicate information more effectively. In the context of mental health, visual aids can be particularly helpful for individuals who struggle with emotional identification or regulation. They can also be beneficial for those who process information better through images or other visual means.

For neurodivergent individuals, visual aids can be particularly helpful in identifying and processing emotions. Visual supports can be particularly helpful for neurodivergent people for several reasons, including: 

✦ For those with ADHD or Autism, elevated levels of alexithymia can make it difficult to identify and label emotions. Visual aids can be a helpful tool to support emotional recognition.⁠

✦ The highly visual ADHD and Autistic brain can benefit from the use of visual aids to support emotional identification and regulation.⁠

✦ Visual aids can provide a clear and consistent structure, which can be especially helpful for those who struggle with executive function.

✦ Visual aids can reduce the cognitive load of processing verbal information, allowing individuals to focus more on the task or conversation at hand.⁠

✦ Visual aids can provide a concrete, tangible representation of abstract concepts, making them easier to understand and remember.⁠

There are many different types of visual aids available, including charts, graphs, images, and diagrams. In this article series, we will be exploring different visual aids that can help individuals better understand and regulate their emotions. By introducing these tools and providing strategies on how to use them effectively, my hope is to provide you with ways to better understand your internal landscape, and increase your emotional awareness and your ability to self-soothe and regulate these pesky little things we call emotions (yes, I'm still in the process of coming to make friends with emotions).

The Feelings Wheel

The Feelings Wheel is a visual representation of different emotions. The feeling wheel was created by Gloria Willcox, the wheel organizes 72 feelings into 6 key areas: sad, angry, scared, happy, strong, and calm. The Feeling Wheel is organized like a pie chart and is divided into several sections. At the center of the wheel are six basic emotions: anger, fear, sadness, calm, strong, and happiness. Each of these emotions is then divided into more specific sub-emotions. So as you move toward the outer edges of the wheel you'll find more specific emotions. This structure helps you better differentiate and tease out what you are feeling with more specificity.

For example, under the emotion of joy, you might find sub-emotions like contentment, excitement, or gratitude. The wheel provides a visual representation of the range of emotions that we can experience and how they are related to one another. By using the wheel to identify and label emotions, we can become more aware of our own emotions and communicate our feelings with more accuracy to others.

How to Use the Feelings Wheel

Using the Feelings Wheel is a straightforward way to increase emotional literacy, boost emotional awareness, and gain a deeper understanding of your emotions.

To use the Feeling Wheel simply look at the different emotions on the wheel and try to identify the one you are feeling. Pointing to the emotion on the wheel as you label it can be helpful. The Feelings Wheel can also be used as a prompt for self-reflection, identifying patterns and triggers, and developing coping strategies.

In addition to identifying the emotion you're feeling, the Feelings Wheel can also help you identify the opposite emotion. The opposite emotion is located on the exact opposite side of the wheel and can give you information about what emotion might help you in any given moment. For example, if you're feeling powerless, the opposite emotion might be feeling empowered and strong.

In this way, the Feelings Wheel not only tells us what we're feeling but also what we might be longing for or needing at that moment.

The Feelings Wheel is a helpful tool for building emotional awareness, as it provides a visual representation of a wide range of emotions and helps us develop a nuanced understanding of our own emotional experiences. However, identifying and labeling emotions can be a challenging process, and it's important to approach it with patience and self-compassion. By investing time and effort in practicing emotional identification, we can cultivate more effective emotional regulation skills and enjoy a greater sense of well-being.

The Feelings List

The Feelings List is another visual tool that can help you identify and label your emotions. It's basically a list of different emotions. Some versions of the Feelings List include just a few basic emotions, like happiness, sadness, and anger, while others include a wider range of emotions, such as frustration, anxiety, and contentment.

The feeling list is an alternative exercise to the feeling wheel. It draws on a similar concept (that practicing identifying and naming emotions helps increase emotion awareness). However, the feeling list offers a more linear process for those who may feel disoriented or confused by the feeling wheel. The feeling list may be particularly helpful for those who are more linear thinkers.

How to Use the Feeling List

Using the Feelings List can be a helpful way to improve your emotional awareness, expand emotional literacy and to better understand and manage your emotions.

Similar to the feeling wheel, start by identifying the overarching emotion. Once you are comfortable identifying the core emotion, look through the more descriptive emotions on the list and try to identify a more nuanced emotional state. Over time, use other, more descriptive emotions from the table to increase your ability to identify nuanced and complex emotions and expand your emotional literacy.

To use the Feelings List, you can simply look at the different emotions on the list and try to identify the emotion you are feeling. This list may be able to jumpstart your emotional identification which can be helpful. You can also use the Feelings List as a starting point for self-reflection, considering the patterns and triggers that you notice and what helps you to manage your emotions.

The Feelings List is another great resource for anyone looking to improve their emotional awareness and understanding of their own emotions. By using this tool, you can gradually build your emotional vocabulary and become more familiar with a wider range of emotions. As with any skill, it may take some time to become more skilled at emotional identification, so it's important to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work on improving your emotional awareness. With consistent practice, however, the benefits of this tool can be significant, enhancing your overall emotional regulation and well-being.

The Feelings Gauge

In addition to the Feeling Wheel and Feelings List, there is a third visual tool that can be a helpful aid in emotional identification: the Feeling Gauge. This one is a bit different and is a more advanced skill for individuals who are ready for it. The Feelings Gauge is a tool that can help you measure the intensity of your emotions. It's usually a visual representation of a range of emotions, with a sliding scale that shows the intensity of each emotion. If you have ever seen an anger thermometer or SUDS thermometer, these are versions of a feeling gauge.

Some versions of the Feelings Gauge include just a few basic emotions, like happiness, sadness, and anger, while others include a wider range of emotions, such as frustration, anxiety, and contentment. Using the Feelings Gauge can be a helpful way to improve your recognition of subtle shifts in emotional intensity and can therefore help with learning to better regulate emotions.

How to Use the Feeling Gauge

To use the Feelings Gauge, start by looking at the different emotions shown on the gauge and identifying the one you are feeling. Then, use the sliding scale to measure the intensity of your emotion. Additionally, the Feelings Gauge can be used as a starting point for self-reflection. Consider patterns and triggers you notice and what helps you to manage your emotions. Use the information you gain from the Feelings Gauge to better understand your emotional states and improve your emotional regulation.

Alexithymia and Gauging Emotions

When we have alexithymia, we often do not notice our feelings until they are at an eight or higher. By the time our mind registers emotions, we are typically in an urgent state. Once we are at an 8, 9, or 10 it is much more difficult to reign the emotions and calm ourselves.

This is one of the reasons people with alexithymia struggle so much with emotional regulation! Because we aren’t registering them until they're urgent it’s much harder to regulate. Imagine not knowing you’re angry until you were reading to hit something! It would be a lot harder to regulate your anger. So learning to identify more subtle forms of emotions is really helpful for people with alexithymia.

As we become more skilled at recognizing subtle emotional shifts in the lower range (2-6), we gain the ability to intervene when emotions are easier to manage. By identifying emotions early on, we can take action to prevent them from escalating to higher levels of intensity. Recognizing emotions at lower levels also empowers us to advocate for our needs in a proactive and effective manner. For instance, when we notice we are starting to feel stressed, we can take steps such as dimming the lights, wearing noise-canceling headphones or asking for space. Taking these actions at a lower stress level is much more effective than waiting until we are at a higher level and yelling or demanding for what we need! By identifying and addressing emotions early in the cycle, we can support ourselves and prevent emotions from spiraling out of control.

How to Use the Feeling Gauge with Alexithymia

For those with alexithymia, identifying and expressing emotions can be a difficult and challenging experience. When using the Feeling Gauge, focusing on external data can be critical to increasing emotional awareness. As a therapist, I have found that it is important to avoid relying purely on internal feelings or sensations when using the Feeling Gauge with clients who have alexithymia. Instead, I have them focus on identifying thoughts, behaviors, and sensations at different levels of the gauge. This can be especially important for individuals who struggle with interoception awareness. By anchoring emotions in observable, concrete data, we can make the process of emotional identification more concrete and manageable while building more accurate and specific emotional vocabulary. This, in turn, can be helpful in managing emotions and communicating with others.

How to Use the Feelings Wheel With Alexithymia

For those with alexithymia, the Feelings Wheel can initially feel overwhelming, which is why it's recommended to start with the arousal-valence matrix and the feelings list before moving on to the feeling wheel. However, it is possible to adapt the Feelings Wheel for use with alexithymia. Here is the basic exercise for using the feeling wheel, and in the following sections you'll find some additional adaptations for people with alexithymia.

To use the Feelings Wheel, try the following steps:

1. Create a calm environment: Find a quiet and comfortable place to work on your emotional awareness. This can help reduce sensory overwhelm and make it easier to identify your emotions. (Note: this is an important step because we often need to quiet the extra noise to hear the quiet signals of emotions).

2. Familiarize yourself with the Feelings Wheel: Take a moment to look at the different emotions on the wheel and try to identify the ones that resonate with you. Start from the center and work your way out, as these may be the easiest emotions to identify.

3. Use the Feelings Wheel for self-reflection: The Feelings Wheel can be a helpful launching pad for self-reflection. Take time to reflect on the emotions you are experiencing, as well as any patterns or triggers you notice. Consider what helps you to manage your emotions as well.

4. Seek support if needed: If you find it difficult to identify your emotions, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who is knowledgeable about neurodivergence and alexithymia. They can provide personalized strategies to improve your emotional awareness and manage your emotions effectively.

By using the Feelings Wheel and seeking support from a neurodivergence-affirming professional, you can improve your emotional awareness and better understand and manage your emotions when you have alexithymia. Additionally, here are some other tips to incorporate when using this exercise:

Chase the Whisper

Emotional identification exercises can be challenging for people with alexithymia, and this can cause many of us to feel incompetent and frustrated. Try to be patient and gentle with yourself. You're practicing a skill that does not come easily to you, and it will take time, patience, and persistence.

Emotional awareness is like a muscle; the more you practice it, the stronger the "emotional awareness muscle" becomes.

The metaphor of "pulling a thread" can be helpful when engaging in these exercises. In the same way that a sweater unravels as you pull a thread, try and grab the "thread" (the whisper of emotion) to see if you can pull back more of the emotion. When you start to experience a subtle emotion, it can be like catching a whisper of a thread. Try to identify this "thread" and pull at it to see if you can unravel more of the experience. This thread may manifest as a sensation, a thought, or a shift in energy. By continually practicing "pulling threads of emotions," you can become more comfortable with the process and better equipped to identify and manage your emotions.

Start at the Center

If you're feeling a little lost when it comes to identifying your emotions, a good place to start is the center of the Feelings Wheel. This area includes core emotions that are easier to identify and can serve as a foundation for exploring more complex emotions. As you become more comfortable identifying and labeling the core emotions, you can gradually move outward to the more nuanced layers of the wheel.

Write or Journal

Writing or journaling can be a helpful tool for those who have difficulty identifying their feelings, particularly for people with alexithymia. Many individuals with alexithymia have an easier time accessing reflective emotions, which are emotions that are processed through our prefrontal cortex, compared to routine emotions, which are emotions that are derived from our sensory cortex which are in-the-moment emotions. By reflecting on your experiences through journaling, you may more easily be able to tease out which emotion you are experiencing. Over time, as you become more familiar with your emotional experiences, you may not need to rely on journaling as much. Through consistent practice, you can learn to identify and better understand your emotions.

Find Patterns

While people without alexithymia can intuitively know their feelings, for people with alexithymia, it can be helpful to start with concrete markers to help identify emotions.

You can use both physical and behavioral markers to help guide you: For example: "I notice my jaw is clenched; I typically do this when I am stressed" (physical sensation). Or "I just raised my voice at my child; I typically do that when I am irritated; I think I may be experiencing irritation and anger right now" (behavioral marker).

Perhaps when you are sad, you eat, withdraw or isolate. Perhaps when scared, you start fidgeting and pacing. Your external behavior may be the first cue of what emotion you are experiencing. If it is difficult to intuitively know your emotions start by considering your behavior and recruit your pattern-finding brain to help you be a detective in determining the primary emotion at the moment.

Practice Identifying Emotional Intensity

As described above, when we have alexithymia, we often do not notice our feeling until they are at an eight or higher. By the time our mind registers emotions, we are in an urgent state. Once we are at a, 8, 9, or 10 it is much more difficult to reign in and self-soothe the emotions.

When we get better at catching quiet emotions (emotions in the 2-6 range), we can intervene when the emotions are easier to walk back. When we can register emotions at lower levels, we can better advocate for what we need.

By identifying the stress early in the process, we can intervene and support ourselves earlier in the emotion-stress cycle. Here is a simple exercise that incorporates "mindfulness on the go" throughout your day to improve your ability to detect emotional intensity.

1) Pick one or two emotions that often cause you difficulty (stress, anxiety, anger, for example).

2) Set three alarms (or choose an activity you do multiple times a day, like every time you eat a meal or use the bathroom).

3) Mindfully check in with yourself when your alarm goes off (or when doing your pre-selected daily activity like eating). On a scale of 1-10, how intense is that emotion?

4) This is likely to feel awkward and challenging at first. The more you practice, the better you will get at this.

And keep in mind that many people with alexithymia begin understanding their emotional intensity by tracking concrete markers. For example (I know when my shoulders are tense, I'm stressed, so this is what a seven feels like."

Summary: The Feelings Wheel

The Feelings Wheel is a helpful visual aid that allows you to identify and label your emotions. It organizes a range of emotions around the six core human emotions and is a great tool for improving your emotional awareness and getting a better handle on your emotions.

The Feelings Wheel is a great starting point for self-reflection, too. You can use it to think about patterns and triggers you notice and what helps you manage your emotions. Plus, it's a visual and creative way to work on your emotional awareness. Just remember to be patient with yourself as you work on improving your emotional awareness – it might take some time to get better at identifying your emotions. So give it a try and see how it goes!

Trouble Shooting: If you’ve tried the adaptations and it still isn’t working for you, be sure and read up on interoception, and identify if perhaps you need to start building up your interoception awareness! Last week during my webinar on alexithymia I talked about the 5 steps for improving alexithymia. Keep in mind emotional identification is the LAST step. However, for people who are ready for this step, using visual supports and aids can be hugely beneficial. So if you’ve tried the adaptations and it still isn’t working for you, be sure and read up on alexithymia and interoception (Note if you've got severe alexithymia I recommend starting with step one (Step One=learning what the heck alexithymia is!).

Follow up Resources

If you are an enthusiastic Autistic learner like me, you might be looking for even more of a deep dive into emotions and psychology. I love self-paced courses, and although I was a fan of iTunes U in the past, I now turn to Coursera for my online deep dives.

If you don’t know about Coursera yet, it’s one of my favorite resources to share, because it’s both accessible (free!) and reputable. They offer a range of free courses from renowned institutions like Yale University. One course I recommend for more learning about emotions is Dr. Marc Brackett's course, which provides a comprehensive exploration of emotions.

It's worth noting that most of Coursera's courses are free to access— you only need to pay if you want a certificate or if you upgrade to Coursera Plus.

(Note: These are affiliate links, meaning that if you upgrade to a paid course or Coursera plan, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. However, I highly recommend starting with the free courses!)